Dumb, dumber and dumbest

______________________________________________________

This post is a fictional conversation between SG, RG and MMS:

It was dawn and the reddish Sun had decided to take a sneak peek into the lives of the people in its favourite planet. In a posh locality, sunlight crept through the green earth making its way across the trees and magically touched the lawn grass rendering them golden. After all it was the lawn of the villa owned by one of the most powerful ladies in the country, whom I will simply call as SG. Once known as the Gora Bahoo (white daughter-in-law) she now rules the roost and has absolute control over most of the proceedings of the country, so much so that it could be called as a Gynarchy. On that eventful morning SG was resting on her rocking chair and sipping tea. Her mobile, on silent mode, vibrated to announce the receipt of an MMS which, coincidentally, was accompanied by the arrival of her aficionado, whom I will call as MMS. SG perused the MMS on the mobile and as she lowered the mobile onto the table beside her, she sensed the palpable tension in the face of MMS, who quietly sat down on the sofa right opposite to her chair. As usual he remained dead silent, occasionally scratching the imported fine Italian mauve velvet sofa cover with his fingers. His skin complexion was fair enough to glow red when under anxiety. The dark blue turban, pitch black pupil, opulent white beard revealing the skin only in the lumpy parts of the cheek, which were now glowing red served as a fine example of juxtaposition of colours. Before SG could utter a word, RG, her son, stormed out of the living room having a hearty laugh at a song being played in his mobile.

“Mom, did you view the MMS I sent. It is hilarious. It is a song about the rocketing onion prices and how it is now making the person buying it cry even before he peels it” he babbled.

“Shut up son, don’t you see MMS uncle is here. He seems to be worried about something. Grow up son” SG remarked.

The bright smiling face of RG turned into a pale one in seconds.

“Hello MMS uncle, sorry I did not notice your presence. Shall I send that MMS to you too” he asked with the smile revisiting his face.

The lawn of that villa had a rare distinction. The air filling it carried the sound waves generated by the vocal chord of one of the most silent person in the history of the world. That air concealed in a jar would be the centre of attraction in the Ripley’s believe it or not collection. Yet another occasion presented itself today.

” Son, you are our next leader. A lot of hopes are pinned on you, and loads of responsibility rest on your shoulders. Please grow up” spoke MMS, with the decibel levels just bordering the Threshold of Hearing.

” Don’t worry uncle. Once I lay my hands on the most powerful post of the country, I shall, by default, become very responsible”, he uttered nonchalantly, disregarding the genuine concern of MMS.

“How so you idiot?” shouted SG.

“Mom, did you not watch Spiderman, I quote ” With great power, comes great responsibility”. So shall I expect that I will be powered this time around?”

” Ya Ya, you speak well in front of me and uncle, but when in front of a learned gathering you blabber and make a complete fool of yourself.” SG rebuked. MMS felt happy that RG was taken to task for his childish behaviour. SG now turned her attention to MMS and queried coquettishly, ” Tell me MMS ji, What is bothering you? Why is your charm at harm?”

” SG ji, Onion prices are rocketing, fuel prices need oxygen supply since they have reached the uppermost layer of the atmosphere and the value of our currency is plummeting, so much so that we need to ask Brendan Fraser to embark on another journey to the centre of the Earth to find it.” he confessed.

“Arey wah MMS ji, you seem to be good at black humour. I want to stand on the top of Mt. Everest and shout ” MMS is not dumb. He is a great speaker” so that the entire world can listen” she remarked with a chuckle. RG guffawed sounding like a braying donkey.

Acknowledging the fact that MMS was not even a teeny bit impressed by her remark, she regained seriousness and enquired ” Do you think Onion prices will further increase.”

“Yes madam ji. I think it is not only the case with Onions, the price of almost all vegetables will touch 70 rupees in the near future.” MMS answered with utmost concern.

“Okay, what about the fuel prices?” SG asked

” It has already touched 80 rupees per litre. We can try and bring it down to 70 rupees at least for two months before the scheduled elections.” MMS replied.

” Wonderful. Now what about the value of our currency?” SG continued shooting questions at MMS not even giving him a brief respite.

“Madam ji. I think for now it will stabilise at 70 rupees for every US Dollar.”

” Fantastic then. MMS ji don’t you think that everything is falling into place? We can now rename each of the petrol bunks and vegetable shops in our country as ” The Dollar store”, an act of Globalisation.” said SG, proud of her version of the black humour and at the same time high-fiving with RG and eventually both ended up laughing uncontrollably.

A visibly enraged purple MMS got up and walked away. With every such incident his decision of remaining dumb makes a lot of sense and his will to remain dumb gets stronger.

___________________________________________________________

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda